What you missed while riding the giant NSFW mechanical bucking penis ...
• Arena Football: Philadelphia at Georgia (8 p.m., ET). Welcome to Duluth, bitches. [ESPN2]
• MLB: Boston at Minnesota (7 p.m., ET). Come see a sporting event in the only building named after a man named Hubert. [ESPN]
• NBA: Eastern Conference semifinals, Game 4, Boston at Cleveland (8:15 p.m., ET). Any free pizza involved? [TNT]
• NHL: Western Conference finals, Game 3, Detroit at Dallas (8 p.m., ET). Ice hockey in Texas. Just as God intended. [Versus]