The NFL is rolling out a Fan Code of Conduct, and be advised that if you don't follow it to the letter, you'll be pummeled like a Tibetan monk at a Chinese police picnic. Among other things, "unruly" or "disruptive" behavior is forbidden. Also, "abusive language." They might as well sell the Jets right now.

According to a copy of the code, obtained by USA TODAY, drunk and "disruptive" fans can be ejected from stadiums or parking lots without refund — and stripped of their season tickets. The same goes for fans who verbally or physically harass other fans, use obscene language or gestures or interfere with the game by throwing objects onto the field. Fans who become drunk or unruly during pregame tailgating will not be allowed into stadiums.

Here's the part of the code that caught my eye: • Intoxication or other signs of alcohol impairment that results in irresponsible behavior Isn't that how one becomes a Raiders fan in the first place? Naturally I'm all for anything that prevents Joe Namath from groping sideline reporters. But as any U.S. Forest Ranger will tell you, a wild ecosystem is best governed by natural selection. Once mankind intervenes, the balance of nature is disrupted and chaos ensues. Tranquilizing and tagging unruly drunks will be costly and ineffective in the long run. Let Darwin cull the herd. NFL To Unveil New Code Of Conduct For Fans [USA Today]