Surely you jest. The University of Colorado couldn't really—this has to be made up, right? You can't expect to beat or even compete with five of the top 14 teams in the country if your university community is focused on valet bike parking. Well, you can if you're the crazy uncle of the Big 12. Welcome to Boulder.

Cue the Denver Post:

And in a move that may draw "only in Boulder" eyeball rolling in some corners of the Big 12, Bohn announced a valet parking for bicycles with a bicycle corral at the stadium. It will be manned by volunteer students, as will the composting and recycling bins inside the stadium.

I'm sure that Nebraska and Texas fans won't make fun of the valet parking for bikes. Wouldn't dream of it. Meanwhile the Colorado football fans who like eating meat and don't have zero carbon footprints (all 21 of them) are going to be staging a rally for the good old days back when Gary Barnett was coach and all they had to worry about was sexually assaulting female kickers.


CU's Folsom Field Aims for no trash
[Denver Post] What Happened Mike Bohn? Were you bit? Did you eat their brownies? DID YOU EAT THEIR BROWNIES!!?!? [Colorado Homers]