We've been shopping our script about a narcoleptic synchronized swimmer for years to no avail; it's an uplifting story, but you know how much it costs to make a water-based film. However, we've dusted off the script and sent it to our agent again after hearing that one of the Japanese synchronized swimmers, Hiromi Kobayashi, sank to the bottom of the pool after their routine and had to be rescued and swept out of the natatorium on a stretcher, wrapped in a white sheet. She's fine, according to the Japanese Olympic team:

"That kind of thing has happened to her before. She is a very nervous athlete. She is good. Don't worry, she's not in serious condition."

So we shouldn't worry about a swimmer that keeps passing out while swimming? Life must be very different in an island nation. So what the hell happened to her?

"The team leader told me what happened to her was too much breathing."

Oh, in that case, leave her at the bottom of the pool for a few minutes until the situation equalizes. By the way, Japan was penalized two points by the judges for touching the bottom of the pool, though no word if these two events are related. If they are, may we recommend a roundhouse kick? Japanese swimmer stretchered out [Reuters] Japanese swimmer collapses at Water Cube pool [AP]