Bill Simmons finally went to the acceptance stage of mourning and has returned with a column (or mailbag, actually) about the stages of Tomlessness that he and all of the other charmed Boston sports fans face the rest of the NFL season. Needless to say, he doesn't have a sunny outlook:

Getting final word on the Brady injury felt like being an actor on a cop show and identifying a murder victim at the morgue: Yep, that's it. That's the 2008 Pats season. You can pull the sheet back over it. Thanks.

Yeah. Something like that. Must be tough. Perhaps he can find solace in the World Series victories or the Celtics championship or, oh, I don't know the other Super Bowl victories. Just a thought. Go watch one of the Sports Illustrated commemorative DVDs already and just stop acting like this is world-ending. Honestly. Sorry your quarterback being out all season ruined your team's chances at another 19-0 season. That SUCKS. **** Anyway, tonight I'm going out on a very special Deadspin field trip that will be posted tomorrow. It will be an, hmm, interesting evening. Photographic evidence will be included this time around. I might even shave. (Doubtful.) Hopefully, you will all find this latest adventure somewhat interesting. I assure you it will at the very least be moderately amusing and a little disorienting. Either way, as always, thank you for your continued support of this internet sports site and all its loosely associated wise-asses. Simmons: Gone In 8 Minutes [ESPN]