• We blame Richard Gere: Nobody combines righteous indignation with salacious hooker stories quite like News of the World, but do you think Cristiano Ronaldo even cares that his girlfriend is a high-priced call girl? Isn't that what "transfer fees" are for? [The Slanch Report.com] • Don't Cry For Me, Terence Stansbury: Save your tears, Sonics fans. That way they can be added to the Slurpee machines at Oklahoma City Thunder games this year. [Brian’s Thoughts About Airplanes] • How Brown is my valley?: Is it too soon for Cleveland to print those 0-16 shirts? Or does Matt Millen have it trademarked? [German Village Media] • Does this make Aubrey Huff the Coach K?: Baseball historian Dick Vitale says the Tampa Bay Devil Rays (oops!) are the George Mason of baseball. So don't worry, Mets—there's always the N.I.T. [Big League Stew] • "I don't want him beaten. I want him out of commission.": Texas tight end Blaine Irby was nearly separated from his favorite leg by Cobra Kai cornerback Chris Douglas. Clicking on this video will reveal the horror once again, but hey, that's what Irby gets for being so tall. [Sportscrack]