Last night's pitching performance by Jamie Moyer is already becoming the stuff that legends are made of. Not only did the 167-year-old baffle the Rays hitters with pinpoint accuracy and a fastball that barely reached 80mph, but according to Fox Sports' Ken Rosenthal - who would be one sick bastard if he's just making this stuff up - Moyer did it all while dealing with a severe stomach virus that gave him a horrible case of anal leakage. To get to the bottom of things, so to speak, Rosenthal went to the person Moyer knows best, his wife. Lots of gross quotes in this one:
Not only was Moyer suffering from diarrhea, but he also was sweating profusely. "It was so bad I had to change the sheets twice," Karen said. "He ruined two pillows. Our comforter is at the cleaners right now."
It's not that often that someone literally shits the bed while leaving the symbolic bed unshat upon. The better quote of the piece comes towards the end however:
"Know how the bloody sock went to the Hall of Fame?" Hutton said. "Our toilet seat should go to the Hall of Fame."
Moyer pitched despite severe stomach virus [Fox Sports]