So, today is the last day for end-of-year retrospectives. We've got at least one more of our own. Today: Bad, bad referees.

I always find it laughable when people argue on behalf of instant replay by saying "the important thing is that we get the call right." Because from what I can tell, those clowns in the replay booth are even worse than the bozos on the field.

As every fan in America can tell you, referees are at best, incompetent hacks and at worst, evil henchman in a worldwide conspiracy to destroy fairness and accuracy. And why are they always out to get your team? That can't be a coincidence, right?

In 2008, they apparently got tired of just fixing games and destroying hope and switched to just straight up using physical brutality to attack and intimidate players. Sure, we try to fight back, but they are a craft bunch, with their little whistles and their balls and strikes counters. They're always plotting something, but we're on to them now.

At least bookies are able to benefit in some small way from all this awfulness. It's about time someone looked out for them.


• In the land blind referees, Ed Hochuli is, of course, their king.

• And Tim Donaghy will forever be their Golden God.

• Although, Scott Foster did learn from the master.

• Olympics? Boxing? Corrupt? Well, I never ...

• Does Doug Eddings owe A.J. Pierzynski money or something?

• In the NBA, sometimes the game is not over, even when it's over.

• Hey, ref! What are you? Drunk? Oh wait, you are.

• This soccer ref probably wishes he was drunk. At least then he'd have an excuse.

• You know you made a bad call when the parents' lawyers get involved.

• Of course, it's not a high school playoff without inadvertent whistles and lawsuits.

• Do you blow your filthy, lying whistle to make your horrendous calls with that mouth?

• Even fake refs can't be trusted.

• We'll always have Duke.

• When all else fails, just don't even show up.