Despite that World Series a few years ago, the White Sox do not exactly have a tradition of winning. That's probably why they are so desperate to cling to the biggest winner in the world, Barack Obama.
Yes, a White Sox fan will soon sit in the Oval Office and the city of Chicago is determined to never let us hear the end of it. Owner Jerry Reinsdorf is doing all he can to suck up—the team is looking to craft an Obama-themed Sox hat—in the mistaken belief that the executive branch can somehow appoint his team a new fourth starter. Sadly for him, baseball is not as corrupt as Illinois politics (it's close), but it must comfort Obama to know that he's the only fan in the world who can executive-ly order his favorite team around.
"Hey, he's the president," Reinsdorf said. "He's not going to tell us how to pitch a guy, but if he calls me from the Oval Office and tells us to get Sammy Sosa, we'll get Sammy Sosa, OK?"
Sammy Sosa? I thought we elected this guy in order to undo the policies of George W. Bush, not re-live them.