It was in Woody Allen's Love and Death where the drill sergeant scolds Boris and asks if he wants a dishonorable discharge, to which Boris replies: "Yes sir, either that or a furlough."
Well, that's it for me, folks; I'm out of this man's army. All good things must come to an end, and for me, Deadspin has been the best of all possible things. Today is my last day in these hallowed halls. In a way it feels like the last day of high school; saying goodbye to old friends, reliving treasured memories, and filling a large duffle bag with office supplies and pilfered yearbook money.
I've had so many great times here, it's hard to know where to begin. Thanks to Friends of Barbaro, to Ned, to Wizard Cat, Mike Cooper, Barry Bonds, Nightmare Ant, Blowie, Keggy the Keg, the Stanford Tree, Deadspin commenters, Mel Brooks, the Preakness Port-A-John jumping guy (he flew too close to the sun on wings of Fail), and many, many others; too numerous to mention in this humble space. I'm taking some time off, and then I may be back around these Internets somewhere, or maybe not. The exact details are shrouded in mystery. If you happen to see me and my lovely new bride, Susan Boyle, wave and say hello. But do not attempt to approach us.
If you'd care to stay in touch, I welcome your missives at RickChand@gmail.com.
So as I scribble this final goodbye in your yearbook, please know that I love you all, and sorry I took up the entire page. I close by giving you the Tralfamadorian greeting: Hello. Farewell. Hello. Farewell. Eternally connected, eternally embracing. Hello. Fare ... hey, who took my wallet?!