Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
•Reebok nixed a shoe deal with Marcin Gortat because of his Air Jordan logo tattoo. He'll just have to settle for being paid $34 million to be a slightly better Maciej Lampe.
•Rodney Harrison says the Patriots would be a great fit for Michael Vick. Sadly, the three-time dirtiest NFL player might be the best person Vick's ever taken advice from.
•Parity! None of baseball's six division leaders have payrolls less than $88 million. Meanwhile, the Pirates' entire roster's contracts were paid off by sales of Dippin' Dots at the last game.
•Lamar Odom ends up back where he started: sulking on the bench.
•The MLB trade deadline is today, and it looks like at least one big deal will be made: Victor Martinez, possibly heading to Boston. They've already got him taking grounders at shortstop.
•David Beckham might miss tomorrow's friendly against Barcelona with a bad back. Probably from carrying American soccer on his back for all these years.
•Pocono Raceway plans to be completely solar powered by next year. NASCAR fans, meanwhile, will continue to be powered by party liquor.