Hey you. Yeah, you. You a big sports fan? Of course you are. You fat bastard. You make my physically ill.
Through the magic of science! we have empirical proof of what we always suspected: that sports fans are repulsive slobs that are going to die young.
If you loyally follow you're team, you probably eat less vegetables than your non-sports fan counterparts (the stalk of celery with your hot wings doesn't count). You're also a lot more likely to drink four or more drinks in a sitting than they are. (Then why do they sell beers in packs of six?)
Body mass index for sports fans is on average more than two points higher for sports fans, and for diehards it approaches 30.
I've heard from people who say, ‘I want to drink beer and eat nachos and chicken wings,' " said [Daniel] Sweeney, who is a professor of sport management. "That's cool, because it's part of the experience. Eat, drink and be merry. But the point is you have the other days of the year when you're not attending games where you can make better choices."
Try to clean the pizza grease off your hands before you write him angry letters.
That's it for today. Thanks, all 80 of you, for sticking with us through today's technical issues. Tomorrow: A.J. gets his own damn coffee.