Thousands of hours of airtime. Millions of keystrokes. Finally, we can stop obsessing over the Most Important College Football Issue of Our Time: Notre Dame will not sully the airwaves this bowl season.
Though there were rumors of an offer from the Terre Haute Chamber of Commerce Bowl, the Fighting Irish announced they would be unable to accept because of "unique circumstances." Translation: They had to pawn the license of the team bus after they paid 23 bajllion dollars to buy out Charlie Weis' contract and disinfect the air around South Bend to rid it of the miasma of failure.
This is 99, btw.