LeBron and Dwight Howard have teamed up to film an update of the landmark McDonald's HORSE commercial. Spoiler: the game ends when Howard is unable to hit a free throw five times in a row.

The two, plus Larry Bird, filmed Monday at Conseco Fieldhouse. It'll air on the Super Bowl, and be a refreshing change of pace from Danica Patrick pretending to take off her shirt, but I'm telling you right now it's not going to match up to the original. For one, it's not 1992, and you're not 10 years old anymore. But consider:

•Conseco Fieldhouse? We go from shooting from the iconic Sears Tower John Hancock Center (and later outer space), to a place named for an insurance company that filed for Chapter 11? They'd better be doing some second unit filming from atop the Burj Dubai.

•Dwight Howard? Bird and Jordan were indisputably the two biggest names in basketball, and maybe sports. Dwight Howard is a very good center without a personality. Come on, McDonald's, it's been six years since you dropped Kobe after that...unpleasantness. I think he's safe to sell our kids Big Macs now.

•No Jordan? I guess he doesn't need the money as much these days, since he won't be losing it to his players in Boo-Ray.


But does it really matter if the commercial's any good? You'll watch it, because you're not going to not watch the Super Bowl. And you'll probably take your family out for fast food within the week anyway, you fat slob.

Pacers' Bird films Super Bowl ad [Indy Star]