Ladies and germs, I give you Jerry Thornton of WEEI.

Let's call it the NSGR/MMUSRI (Nerdy Stat Geek Ridiculous/Meaningless Made Up Statistic Rating Index). You take any new, obscure baseball evaluation stat and you start with the weight of the guy who invented it, times how many days he's been wearing the same "Han Solo Shot First" T-shirt, divided by how many times he's had sex in his life, multiplied by how often his mom cooks his meals add how many days a month he sees the sun times the percentage by which he throws like a girl.

Take that, nerds. The guy making the world's 4,376th joke involving a mock statistical acronym says you're lame.

The geeks will inherit the earth [WEEI]