To protect Indianapolis's youngest football fans from being forcibly shoved through puberty by deodorant marketing, the city has rejected an ad that would have gone up in Lucas Oil Stadium.

If Axe ads have taught us anything, it's that using their product will immediately land you multiple sex partners. It's an important lesson, but one the people of Indianapolis don't want their kids learning just yet. The Capital Improvement Board said no to the pictured ad, calling it too suggestive.

I'm not sure I know how to take it," said [fan] Kim Somermeyer. "I could read it one of two ways. One would be OK. The other would be, 'That doesn't seem quite right.'"

Maybe it doesn't seem quite right because that's not how penises work. I recognize that there's something phallic going on here, but the fluid appears to be exploding out of the wrong end. And the copy: "Girls prefer dry guys?" I'm sure it's a double entendre, but I can't quite figure out the second entendre. Since the ad would have been posted outside the bathrooms, does it mean "don't pee on yourself?"


Either way, the ad was sent back to be redesigned. So worry not, parents of Indianapolis. When you go to a Colts game, your kids will be protected from anything sexually suggestive.

Proposed stadium ad gets the ax [Indianapolis Star]