It's still stunning how quickly everything fell apart for the world's greatest golfer, last seen being a humorless prick. And it all began five years ago today: a car crash, and cheating allegations that spiraled into one of the biggest sports scandals we're ever likely to see.

Around 2:30 a.m. on Friday, Nov. 27, 2009, after what surely must have been an awkward Thanksgiving dinner, Tiger Woods pulled his Cadillac Escalade out of his Windermere, Fla., home, and drove into a fire hydrant and then a tree. Police initially claimed that then-wife Elin Nordegren had been a hero, smashing the SUV's back window with a golf club to pull her husband free. It soon emerged that Nordegren had been chasing Woods with a golf club, and had scratched his face after learning of at least one of Woods's many, many affairs.

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The rest is history. The parade of women. The awkward press conference. The divorce. The nearly three years without a tour win. The five years and counting without a major win. Lindsey Vonn.

Happy Thanksgiving. Please enjoy Tiger's gross sexts to a porn star.