In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like ... well, I just wanna say one thing. To the fans and everybody in Deadspin nation: I'm sorry. Extremely sorry.

I was hoping Tim Tebow would sort of fade away, that I wouldn't have to submit to any more sermonizing about his character and his faith and to any more magical thinking about their value on a football field, that the favorite player of people who own Precious Moments figurines would go in the third or fourth or maybe fifth round, hold a clipboard for a few seasons, and then spend the rest of his years quietly clipping foreskins in the Philippines. That was my goal.

But I promise you one thing. A lot of good will come of this. You have never seen any writer in the entire country snark as hard as I will snark the rest of Tim Tebow's career. And you will never see someone push the rest of the media as hard as I will push the rest of Tebow's career. And you will never see a blog snark harder than we will the rest of his career. God bless.