In sports, everyone is a winner — some people just win better than others. Like every golfer at the Quail Hollow Championship not named Tiger Woods, all of whom might have some peace and quiet and golf-claps, for once.

Woods, on the other hand, won't be playing golf this weekend, not after firing a 79 on Friday to miss the cut in Charlotte — and that was after parring the last three holes to avoid sneaking into the 80s. It wasn't so much Woods' 43 on the back nine — again, after parring the last three holes — or his flubbed gimmes or the fact that he missed his sixth cut in 14 years or the fact that he missed that cut by eight shots that was most irksome, though. It was the idea that Woods was so, well, unlike Woods, so much so that he was the butt of a joke from laid-back journeyman Nathan Green. Who? OK, how about Stewart Cink, who also missed the cut, for the record. "It's not like he completely packed it in, but you lose a little intensity out there when you're five, six strokes out of the cut with three holes to play," he said. Cue the purists, tsk-tsking away.

As for Tiger's plans? "It does bother me, no doubt," he said. "But at least I get the weekend to watch and see how it's done, how real players play golf." If he could get out of the players' parking lot, that is. After Woods slammed the trunk and plopped down in the backseat on Friday, his SUV rolled over an orange traffic cone. To make matters worse, he's no longer welcome at Jesper Parnevik's home, and some fans are even growing weary of blanket coverage of Woods' every step, report those who provide blanket coverage of Woods' every step.

You almost start to feel bad for the guy.