Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

[Screengrab of Ike Davis' game-ending "grab" by Ben M.]

* The Blackhawks closed out the Canucks to reach the Western Conference Finals. The big question now: Can they choke harder than the Sharks? [Sun-Times]

* Tiger Woods publicly thanked Hank Haney for helping him swing for the last six years. Seems like a better coach would have also shown him how to not get caught doing it. [Fox Sports]

* Charlie Davies was left off the U.S.'s preliminary World Cup roster, as he has yet to fully recover from his ugly car accident last fall. Are legs really that crucial for playing soccer? [ESPN]

* This Saturday is "Tommy Lasorda Day" at the library in Pomona , California. It's all part of a month-long "Lasordapalooza," which includes Lasorda-themed art exhibits, literary contests and a Tommy Lasorda look-alike contest. I don't think that's a competition anyone really wants to win. [Baseball Reliquary]


* Commissioner Jim Delany denies offering new Big Ten slots to Missouri, Nebraska, Notre Dame and Rutgers. You see, the Big Ten never asks. It tells. Now get back to work. [USA Today]

* * * * *

Good morning. I think that went well, don't you?