Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
* You can take the penal colony out of Australia, but ... something, something ... shrimp on the barbie. [Image sent by Reader Ian]
* In other hockey news, (really!) a Team Canada jersey was sold at auction for $1.275 million, a record for a sports uniform. It's the sweater Paul Henderson was wearing when he scored the series-winning goal in Game 8 of the 1972 Summit Series. Those stains will probably come right out, too. [Puck Daddy]
* Here's a cute, but also sad, story of a former dog of Michael Vick's that has found a new home and a new friend, but is so scared of people it refuses to bark. (The other dog he lives with has to bark on his behalf when he wants to be let outside. That ain't right.) So save the Donte' Stallworth and Leonard Little comments for another time, okay? [Dallas Observer]
* I am simply shocked to learn that of all the baseball teams that gouge their fans with "convenience" and "printing" fees, (i.e., all of them) the Yankees and Mets are the gougiest. Collecting large sums of money is so unlike them. [Consumerist]
* * * * *
Thursday. So let it be written, so let it be done ...