Three players, including the son of Astros manager Brad Mills, are accused of puncturing a man's lung in a fight outside an Akron bar called....wait for it....Whiskey Dick's. Gee, you wouldn't expect trouble at a place like that.

The players are current Akron Aeros Jerad Head and Beau Mills‚ÄĒCleveland's first-round pick in 2007‚ÄĒand Josh Tomlin of the Columbus Clippers. The three allegedly ran into Theodore Zeman, a bouncer who works at the bar but was off-duty on the night of June 3. According to reports, the group began teasing Zeman, calling him soft, accusing him of being on steroids, even ribbing his girlfriend. Then when Zeman tried to defuse the situation, the gang of three naturally proceeded to kick the crap of him. Zeman spent two days in the hospital with broken ribs and a punctured lung.

The players say they didn't assault him, so I guess we'll just wait for the sensational Court TV trial coverage. What's that? Minor league bar fights don't make good courtroom drama? Wait until Mr. Dick hears about this.

Aeros players charged with assault in brawl [Akron Beacon Journal; tip via Fox8]