Then you should join the Deadspin Facebook group because it gives you the opportunity to converse with like-minded sports culture enthusiasts and you might just meet a fun person to have virtual sexting with. For real. Look.

See? Three of the thousands of men who are already part of the Deadspin Facebook group have had sex with this woman. Your daily readership yields tangible results. You are America's Cool Kids — an army of little Fonzis who can lightly punch a jukebox to make it play your favorite song on command. You have presence and you radiate raw sexual energy. You make ladies want to cook you hearty stews and men want to play horseshoes with you. And it's all because you read this site and have joined the Facebook group. Tell your friends and frenemies to do the same.

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