In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Camden Yards' 20,108 paying customers, who, despite the O's not scoring a run, were treated to two meltdowns, three ejections and one very determined fan on the field.

It's got to be frustrating to be an Oriole right now. They have half as many wins as their division leader, and there's no particular reason to suspect they'll be closing that gap this season. Last night was the classic game in which nothing went their way, and emotions boiled over.

First Ty Wigginton got pissed at a blown call at first base, and bumped the ump. Ejected. Or, alternate explanation: he wants to show to teams potentially trading for him that he still gives a crap, despite the soul-numbing nature of Baltimore baseball.

When that ill-gotten runner came around to score, pitching coach Rick Kranitz hollered something from the dugout. Ejected. Alternate explanation: he thought he could get a supension on top of an ejection, and not have to come to work for a few days.

That brought manager Juan Samuel out. Yelling, screaming, wildly gesticulating, throwing things. Ejected. Alternate explanation: it was simply a tribute to Lou Piniella.

But the action wasn't done. An inning later, a fan hopped out of the seats in left, and just kept running and running. Then jogging. Then walking.

The joke's been made, but that was the longest time spent on the basepaths by anyone wearing orange in a while. It's clear the kid has no plan, and ends up milling about aimlessly as police stroll in his general direction. You can't blame him for his disorganization; he must have been expecting to be tackled immediately. But Baltimore's finest let him do what he needs to do, before one of the umpires finally tells him to knock it off.

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The Orioles' marketing department needs to put clips from these videos into their commercials. The fine people of Baltimore are no longer fooled into thinking they'll see actual baseball highlights, so why not try to lure them in with the sideshows?