Not all of Philadelphia has Phillies Phever. Two men were arrested for assaulting a 6-foot, 100-lb sculpture of the Phanatic. His prehensile tongue offered pathetically little defense.

Two homeless men were arrested and charged with criminal mischief, disorderly conduct, and attempted furry fish-bird murder. The damage is estimated at $3,000, but the emotional scars? Well, they'll last a lifetime.

Vandals damage Phillie Phanatic statue [WPVI]
What Kind Of Sickos Vandalize A Phillie Phanatic Statue? Oh Right…Philadelphians [Sportress Of Blogitude]

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Okey dokes. Rest up, back tomorrow.