Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
• The Clippers beat the Heat at home, 111-105. Mario Chalmers somehow pissed off Blake Griffin, and 15 seconds later Griffin double-pumped over him to seal the win and then stared him down and chewed his mouth guard very aggressively. The lesson here is, do not piss off Blake Griffin.
• Suddenly Buddhist LeBron James explained that the karma tweet was not intended for the Cavs. Karma, he explained, is a concept "I've kinda always used my whole life... I don't think there was intent at all." Might have been different if he wrote it in Comic Sans, I guess.
• For the third time since 2002, the Florida State Seminoles beat a No. 1 Duke team in Tallahassee, 66-61. In other words, since 2002, the majority of humans on the planet have felt surges of schadenfreude on at least three separate occasions. I don't know about you, but I feel like a new person today.
• Meanwhile, Syracuse, Ohio State, Kansas, and San Diego State all beat unranked teams last night, and are now the four unbeaten teams in men's college hoops. Centenary and UNC-Greensboro are still without wins this season.
• Yes, Brett Favre's sister Brandi was arrested in a meth bust in Mississippi. Officers in Hancock County are apparently "very familiar" with the 34-year-old, who has faced charges on felony shoplifting and unlawful use of a handgun in the past. The internet is producing content on the arrest that, like meth, may melt your brain.
• The Good Men Project's Ryan O'Hanlon breaks down ESPN's survey on race and sports. Among other things of note: 30 percent of African-Americans surveyed say they admire Ben Roethlisberger against 22 percent of whites.
• Tiger Woods may read your diary.
Photo by Andrew Carter of the Orlando Sentinel
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