Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
• After scoring a goal in Barcelona's match on Saturday, best soccer player in the world Lionel Messi pulled his jersey up and wished his mother Celia Cuccitini a happy birthday via written-on shirt. Yesterday, the Spanish football federation slapped him with a 2,000-3,000 Euro fine for being a caring son. [Yahoo Eurosport]
• Seton Hall scratched to within three games of .500 by beating Syracuse last night. One scribe wrote the 90-68 drubbing was "like something out of a sacrificial ritual." [The Star-Ledger]
• Regrets, Wes Welker has 10, and they're all about feet as they pertain to Rex Ryan. [Boston Herald]
• Michael Vick's first big post-prison endorsement deal will be announced Thursday. It's with Unequal Technologies. They make football pads. Said CEO Rob Vito, ''Michael is good people. He paid his dues.'' [Fox Sports]
• And for the record, your comments about Scot Pollard haven't gone unnoticed by Scot Pollard.
Happy Wednesday. Your regular weekday folks will be with you shortly.