The Somewhat Romantic Story Of Mark Sanchez And A 17-Year-Old Girl | This is a story about a famous quarterback's courtship of a 17-year-old girl and the girl's conflicting emotions about fame. No one committed any crimes, as far as we know. It's perfectly legal for the New York Jets' Mark Sanchez to date a 17-year-old girl. He can do it in Manhattan. He can do it at his home on a North Jersey golf course. She's legal. This story has stormy nights and 2 a.m. text messages and cute photographs and mean professional gossips and very angry lawyers, which is to say it's a story about love. (A.J. Daulerio)

The Super Bowl Does Dallas | Christina Aguilera hated America ... The Fonz liked the Pack ... A-Rod ate popcorn. ... Some fans were sad ... Really sad ... And then they were angry ... And conflicted ... Jim Gray was subliterate.

Pat Burrell Is The Machine. Fact. | In a post titled "Pat Burrell Says Hello!," BarStool Sports has seemingly put to rest any questions about the identity of Brian Wilson's special gimp-gear-laden pal, affectionately called The Machine. (Brian Hickey)

UConn QB Takes On Doors, Baskets, Pizza Delivery Vans In Trick Shot Video | Finally, the trick shot video diversifies into the world of football. UConn backup Johnny McEntee does some incredible things with a ball, and, presumably, a patient cameraman. Man, if this guy's just the backup, I don't know what Robert Burton's so mad about. (Barry Petchesky)

"Dear Pathetic, Ignorant Twats": The Duke/UNC War Of Words Heats Up | It's an annual tradition for the editors of the Duke Chronicle and the Daily Tar Heel to exchange trash talk letters in advance of their schools' first matchup of the season. We got them both, and boy, do the young minds of Tobacco Road have a way with words. (Barry Petchesky)

Everyone's Talking About Harry Baals | The Fort Wayne city government is renaming its government center, and its residents have demonstrated an overwhelming preference to honor former mayor Harry Baals (now pronounced bales). This is making for some excellent TV news reports, all compiled above. (Emma Carmichael)

Everything You Need To Know About The Upcoming NFL Labor War | The NFL season is over! No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOO! Oh, fuck you, God! You've got some nerve allowing late winter, spring, and summer to get in the way like that! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU! (Drew Magary)

Potentially The Worst Miss In The History Of Ever? | Excuse us for being a bit late with this, but after reading Tim Vickery's always excellent South American football column on the BBC website, we thought we'd take a look at the miss of Ecuador Under-20 player Marlon de Jesus to see if it is as bad as he said. (The Spoiler)

No, A Coach Donating His Kidney To A Player Isn't An NCAA Violation; Yes, They Had To Make Sure First | Wake Forest baseball coach Tom Walter donating one of his own kidneys to freshman player Kevin Jordan is one of the best stories we've heard in a long time. So we're not sure if it speaks more to our cynicism or the labyrinthine bylaws of the NCAA that we honestly wondered: does this violate anything in the rulebook? It's probably not just us, because Wake Forest asked too. (Barry Petchesky)

Welcome To The New Deadspin Redesign | Hi. Weird, RIGHT? Anyway, you were warned this was going to happen. So here it is. In all its splashy glory, so follow along with me and I'll attempt to guide you through this ordeal. (A.J. Daulerio)


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