A selection of stories from the week we anger-jogged with Sean Penn.

The Truth About Race, Religion, And The Honor Code At BYU | In the last two months, BYU has become a symbol of righteousness in college sports, thanks to the school's strict adherence to its honor code and the tenets of the Mormon faith. A look at nearly two decades of honor code violations paints a very different picture. Since 1993, we've found, at least 70 BYU Cougars have run afoul of the honor code. Eighty percent were minorities. Sixty percent were black. This is "America's team?" (Luke O'Brien and Darron Smith)
MORE: In Their Own Words: Tico Pringle, Ray Hudson, Thomas Stancil | Two Decades Of Honor Code Violations

If You Throw An Octopus On The Ice in Detroit You Could Be Fined $500 And Ejected | Tommy B. got home from last night's Detroit/Phoenix game but despite a Game One victory, he was sad. Sad because he had a run-in with Johnny Law. This, because he threw an octopus on the ice. (Brian Hickey)

It Sure Looks Like Brian Wilson Had A Lovely Birthday In Scottsdale | Tipster Nick wrote in to share some inside information about the time last month when he met, and took pictures of, San Francisco Giants closer Brian Wilson. Or so he says. He writes, "These were from his 29th B-Day party here in Scottsdale, before the Giants broke camp. I got stories too, but seeing as he's about the coolest motherfucker (read: athlete) I've met, I'll pass." (Brian Hickey)

The Stupid Barry Bonds Prosecution, In A Stupid Nutshell | As you all know, Barry Bonds was convicted Thursday on a single count of rambling in the first degree. (No, seriously. Seven years of this shit, and that's what they got him on — evading a question he ultimately answered. Aggravated incoherence. A felony charge of Not Being Freaking Pericles in the Presence of a Grand Jury.) (Tommy Craggs)

Soccer Rec League Captain Works Harder Than You And Has The Sweaty Email To Prove It | "I refuse to continue to play a game with people who show up to games late (not so much the problem) and despite being late walk instead of sprint to the pitch, continue to make the same mental mistakes over and over, don't even show up to games, bicker/fight/point fingers at others, and finally play without any passion or leadership on the field. It's not so much the result, it's the way we fight that matters." (A.J. Daulerio)
EARLIER: Kickball Rec League Captain's Fantastically Bitchy Email | Another Bitchy Email Over Rec League Kickball | Intense Man's Apology To Rec Softball Team, Girlfriend

Wife Of Phillies Reliever Forgets Comments Like These Will Not Go Over Well In Philadelphia | Said Sarah Madson, wife of Phillies reliever Ryan, "I hate the fans. It is bad enough that they bother us during the season, but they will not leave us alone in December when we go out to eat. We stayed here during the off season last year, but we will be going to California this year. There must be something particularly bad about Phillies fans because all the players leave in the off season." (A.J. Daulerio)

The Sultan Of Twat: Babe Ruth's Swinging First Few Years With The Yankees | His libido had raged unchecked while in Boston. Now that he was turned loose upon a city far larger and stocked with many, many more available women, Ruth's sexual scorecard rivaled his home-run rate. He generally preferred prostitutes, because he had neither the time nor the inclination to court properly. Hunt of the Daily News would accompany the Babe on adventures out into the wilds of the nation, in search of Ruth's two favorite targets: steak dinners and cathouses. In Hot Springs, Ruth would take writer Frank Graham driving in the Arkansas countryside, looking for farmhouses advertising "Chicken Dinners." "What he really wanted was the chicken-daughter combo, and he got plenty of them," recalled Graham. (Robert Weintraub, The House That Ruth Built)

A Quintessential Night In An American Hospital | Going to the hospital sucks. Aggressively. Hospitals know this, of course. But they have no interest in NOT sucking because if going to the hospital were pleasant and breezy, then everyone would go and the staff would be overloaded and have little or no time to fuck each other in the laundry room. Everything about hospitals is designed to keep you away. From the shitty ER fee to the shitty forms to the shitty registration to the shitty old coughing people planted in the lobby to terrify you with their ghastly senior germs, the hospital experience is designed to weed out everyone but those who need the most urgent of care. (Drew Magary)

Comatose Giants Fan Shouldn't Have Been Wearing A Giants Jersey, Writes Dumbass | Bryan Stow is the 42-year-old Giants fan who was beaten outside Dodger Stadium and who now lies in a medically induced coma. Stow was wearing a Giants jersey at the time of the attack. I'll let John Steigerwald, a columnist for the Observer-Reporter in Washington, Pa., and a former television anchor, take it from here. (Tommy Craggs)
MORE: We Welcome John Steigerwald To The Club Of Assholes Most Distinguished

Ex-49ers Color Analyst Possibly Fired For Raunchy Labia-Lovin' Talk (With NSFW Audio) | Gary Plummer was the 49ers color analyst on KNBR for the past 13 seasons until it was recently announced that he would be replaced by another ex-Niner, Eric Davis. The reasons for his departure were vague. The director of broadcasting for the Niners, Bob Sargent, insists that Plummer wasn't fired for criticizing the team (which he often did). But one tipster says Plummer was let go because of this very graphic hypersexual interview he did with the Ladybrain podcast last February, which has since been removed. (A.J. Daulerio)


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Editor-in-Chief: A.J. Daulerio | Senior Editor: Tommy Craggs | Writers: Barry Petchesky, Luke O'Brien | Contributing Editor: Drew Magary | Night/Weekend Editor: Brian Hickey | Video Editor: Emma Carmichael | Contributing Artist: Jim Cooke | Intern: Jack Dickey | Video Intern: Kate Shapiro | Moderators: Comment Ninja Squadron