Your morning roundup for June 25, the day Wade Boggs introduces you to Deputy Stanley, a dimwitted yokel who does battle with Swamp Shark.
What we watched: One would think Andy Roddick's post-defeat controlled-anger press conference was the most intriguing television to come out of Britain yesterday. But, that one wasn't home trying to convince an infant that now was a good time to go to sleep so daddy could watch some Wimbledon. Which brings us to some alternative programming called "In the Night Garden," a modern televisual interpretation of a nursery rhyme picture book ... about a magical place that exists between waking and sleeping in a child's imagination."
There's some sort of shroomed-out pillow person being named Makka Pakka who uses something called an agga pang as soap and/or a sponge and rides a three-wheeled og-pog to get around the garden. Also, there's a swarm of miniature beings/people called the Pontipines who probably convince children that red ants are conversant beings. Tuesday's episode, called "The Ninky Nonk Wants a Kiss," will explore what happens when "Upsy Daisy is kissing everything in the garden. She kisses a tree, a flower and Igglepiggle, and she rides around the garden in the Ninky Nonk visiting and kissing people and things." Translation: Upsy Daisy is a total whore, so she's probably more entertaining than tennis anyway.
What we're watching: Speaking of Wimbledon, Federer and Djokovic are on today's schedule. So was Sharapova but she already tore through Zakopalova. Wozniacki too, over Gajdosova. And Nadal, who just smoked Muller. The Gold Cup finals between the EEUU and Mexico are on tonight, of course, but we'll get to that later.
There was no joy in Thrashersville: With the first pick in the 2011 NHL Draft, the Edmonton Oilers selected Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, center, from Red Deer. With the seventh pick, the Winnipeg Jets Vers. 2.011 selected Mark Scheifele, center, from Barrie. With the none-th pick, the Atlanta Thrashers brought that fellow in the picture a pain that only emptiness and nothingness can manufacture. [NHL] (Photo H/T WCCO, via Kyle S.)
Deep Thoughts with Patrick Cantlay: After shooting a course record 60 in the second round of the Travelers Championship at TPC River Highlands, the UCLA freshman said, "I was just trying to stay in the moment. As far as what I was doing, I was just trying to make good swings." [Hartford Courant]
Flop, Flop, Flopington D.C.: Charlie Davies got fined a $1,000 for a "blatant" dive that led to the penalty kick that led to his DC United side "earning" a draw against Real Salt Lake last week. The league said Davies's actions put "the game into disrepute." [Washington Post]
The Pride of Dodger Stadium: Here's video of an elegant woman taking a piss in a Dodger Stadium men's bathroom trough while drinking her beer. You're welcome, peedrink fetishists. [Cosby Sweaters]
The Tworldwide Leader in Sports: "It doesn't matter who Nikola Mirotic is, but it does matter that Twitter told us he was Bulls' property a good ten minutes before ESPN seemed to have a clue." [CBS Chicago]
Your freestyle canoe interlude:
"I'm thinking, 'Oh, God, this guy is going to die.'": USF lineman Danous Estenor strong. USF Danous Estenor help lift 1990 Cadillac Seville off of the tow-truck driver pinned underneath.
"I tried to lift the car, and when I first tried, it didn't budge. I backed up. I don't know. But I felt this energy come, and I lifted it. I don't know how, but somebody pulled him from the car." [St. Petersburg Times]
Two guys, one cup: "We all jumped out of our carts and went running up there pretty quick when we noticed there were no balls,'' Justin Pressnall said. "Greg [Bontrager]'s partner (Voran) got to the hole first and looked into the cup and saw both balls sitting in there.'' [Wichita Eagle]
We are all Dave McKenna CXXXVI: Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until that small, painful spot or bump on the franchise's collective skin quickly changes to a very painful bronze- or purple-colored patch that grows rapidly, breaks open, oozes fluid and results in deformity.
Today's Soccer Viewing Recommendations: The US/Mexico Gold Cup finals are on Fox Soccer Channel at 8:30 p.m. Futbol de la Copa Oro is on Univision at the same time. "They might as well have the game in Mexico. The only difference is Pasadena isn't at 7,000 feet." — Eric Wynalda. [Forbes]