Little Nick and Nate Smith learned two valuable lessons about life. First, sometimes miracles do happen. From 89 feet out, Nate put a 3-inch hockey puck into a 3½-inch slot. But Nate also learned that insurance companies are the devil, and they will fuck you over, just bend you right over the dasher and fuck you raw.
At a charity hockey game in Minnesota last week, 11-year-old Nick Smith won a raffle. His prize? Statistically, almost nothing, since it's a just a shade more possible than impossible to make that center ice shot that has entertained state fair and NHL intermission crowds for decades. But Nick wasn't inside the arena when his name was called. So his twin brother Nate stepped up.
Since it's impossible for identical twins to get together without hijinks ensuing, hijinks did indeed ensure. Nate made the shot, the boys' father fessed up to the switcheroo (which has been used countless times in professional wrestling, and never once been penalized), and now the boys may not get the cash. The insurance company is well within their rights, since the person who won the raffle wasn't the person who made the shot, but c'mon — they want to use the money for college!
The Smith twins aren't the first this year to get royally boned by technicalities. In February a 73-year-old man made a shot from the entire length of the ice — but didn't get his $50,000 because he wasn't standing in the crease. So once again we return to lessons learned for Nick and Nate, especially important since they can't afford college now: when going up against the insurance companies, leave your dreams at home, and bring the lube.