Rovell, CNBC's business reporter, tweets like the battle-weary Marine that he isn't:
darrenrovell Just got the call: Heading to Montauk. Will be live in the storm on CNBC from 6am to 11pm ET on Sunday. Pray for me.
He'll be there because, yes, the world needs to know what the hurricane's hypothetical Under Armour sponsorship revenues would be. Because the world needs to know what the hurricane's lunch of the day will be—we fear it might be Rovell's pompadour (although he says he has "hurricane-force gel.") Because the hurricane needs to know how she should tweet.
Nonetheless, people of eastern New England, take heart. There's now a massive obstacle standing between Irene and you: Darren Rovell's ego.
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Hickey will be here tomorrow. He or I or no one may be here on Sunday, depending on whom and what gets washed away. Survive!