What we watched: Golf, amazingly. Not all day, mind you, but for the last hour of the Frys.com Open, a man named Briny (winless on the PGA Tour in 347 attempts) battled another man with one hand bigger than the other and missing a left pectoral muscle (winless on the PGA Tour in 131 tries) in a remarkable six-hole playoff. Yes, it was the Frys.com Open and, yes, Briny Baird and Bryce "Fat Hand"
Mobler Molder are names even the most avid golf fan wouldn't recognize, but watching these guys battle each other until the sun went down was the best sports drama of the day. Bryce finally beat Briny on a six-footer and could finally call himself a champion. When he held up the trophy, you saw how big his right hand was compared to his left one. But today, most people are talking about the tournament because someone tried to attack Tiger Woods with a hot dog. (A.J. Daulerio)
How Al Davis ought to be remembered: "Today, at least, you won't find a media outlet that will fail to lionize Davis. He's the only man to be a coach, a scout, a head coach, a general manager and owner of a football team, as well as a league's commissioner. He popularized the idea of a high-powered offense that we all adore today, and, though he opposed merging the AFL with the NFL, engineered the strategy that forced the NFL to negotiate. The Raiders had the best winning percentage over four decades. But this hasn't been the narrative for years. This is stuff that comes out as burps in between a feast of schadenfreude and priggish PTA-esque clucking about how that Mr. Davis just doesn't do things the way the right kind of billionaires say he should." [Mr. Destructo]
The view from Philly, five weeks in: "So the Eagles did keep at it. Still, it was just a mess of a game. Five turnovers. A run defense that was gashed badly for the fifth straight week. A pass rush that the Bills mocked with screens and shovel passes. And a head coach, in his weekly head-scratcher, who ran a play with 8 seconds left in the first half instead of kicking a field goal and ended up with nothing when Vick threw the ball incomplete through the end zone as time expired. That Reid had no timeouts remaining goes without saying. The consensus pick to win the NFC East is in last place on merit. The Eagles look terrible and the questions are getting more pointed." [Philadelphia Daily News]
Your Alligator Devouring A Watermelon Interlude:
What had been wrong with the Steelers' defense heading into yesterday: "One year after they shut down the National Football League with a rush defense that was the best in franchise history and the third-stingiest since the league went to a 16-game schedule, the Steelers are being shredded like a head of iceberg lettuce. They have dropped from No. 1 in rush defense in 2010 to No. 22 after four games and already have allowed two 100-yard rushers — the first time they have allowed two in a four-game span since 2003. And the play that has hurt them the most is the same play Cowher had fits trying to defend — the stretch, a running play that is kryptonite to the Steelers' Superman run defense." [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]
Raiders fan in a gorilla suit interviewed on the local news?: Raiders fan in a gorilla suit interviewed on the local news. [CBS San Francisco]
Hideki Irabu's last comeback attempt: "Even though he was 40 and a former Yankee, Irabu was an attentive student. He was also a quick study. He struck out the side in order during the first inning using his new pitch to put away the batters. ‘He clearly had something left in the tank,' Spradlin said with a chuckle. As per tradition at Armada games, the fans passed the hat to reward players for their feats. Irabu had made millions during his career and did not need the $300 that reached the dugout. Some players wanted to give it back to the fans while others thought they should split it among themselves. Garry Templeton, the team's manager, felt otherwise. He told Irabu where the money had come from, and without hesitation, Irabu told him it should be spent on food and beer for the team. The clubhouse attendant was dispatched to a store for provisions. ‘We had a party on him,' Templeton said." [New York Times]
Merch: Managing editor Tom Scocca and contributing editor Drew Magary have both written books. You can buy Scocca's Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Future here, and Magary's The Postmortal here. Now do it.
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