'Tis the season to give people gifts and whatnot in the name of some carpenter dude's birthday. That whatnot includes charitable donations. That's where Jordan B.'s observation comes into play: "A felating monkey as a gift for a child in a Toys For Tots toy drive. Self satisfaction, the gift that never quits." Lucky kid.

Ralph P.'s bride seems like a fun gal. To wit, "My wife likes to make pancakes for our son, and often goes for some fun shapes. This week, she went for the letter 'T' since his name begins with it. The kid is six! Six, and we're apparently throwing dongs in front of him. Tough sitting there watching him eat it."


Writes Liz L., "I used a cookie shaping tool from Crate & Barrel and they all came out like this. Its supposed to be a snowman." There's something wrong with this Liz L. lady. Everybody knows Crate & Barrel wants a world where all sweets look like dong. Speaking of which ...

Carl from DC thinks this pastry "might have a little more to it than cream filling." Like what, Carl from DC, nougat?

Seriously, Ian from Oostburg, Wisc., another one? "Just enjoying some Christmas cookies with the family when all of a sudden this cookie was staring right at me," he wrote. "Some would call it a Christmas dong miracle."

Rory D. checks in from Iwakuni, Japan with a photograph of a toy based on the Japanese cartoon, Anpanman. Unintentional dongs, an international phenomenon.

Last week, a black-nailpolished lass shared the double eggplant-dong submission. This week, a different black-nailpolished gal presents root dong. Writes Connor, "I was at the grocery store with my girlfriend when we noticed this gem of a root vegetable."

Peter Q. explains that he "was the Illinois vs. UNLV basketball game at the United Center (home of the Chicago Bulls and their mascot Benny the Bull) and saw this above my seats in the rafters. Looks like Benny couldn't keep his excitement hidden."

As tipster Craig from Moorhead, Minn. shares, "This phallic carrot was picked up at a Farmers Market in Fargo, ND by a co-worker, who was kind enough to share it with me. What are the odds the farmer has developed a super race of walking carrot dongs that shoot on command?? I'd love to see Bugs Bunny chew on this one!" Moorhead. Heh.

As Ryan B. dutifully points out, "Not even Santa's coloring book is immune from the omnipresent cock & balls."

Always Winning checks in with "dong staircase ... for when you need to make the grandest of grand entrances."

Tipster Tim Toxic (or, TTT for short) said he can't watch this Tums commercial involving a nimble bit of stickmeat "without thinking how gay that dude and corndog are." Obviously, dude's not gay since he won his date a pink teddy. And even if he was, so? Corndogs friggin' rule, in carnival atmospheres and beyond.

Anyway, Rolando was slicing up some plantain and decided to share what it looked like when he got done with it. Because it looks like a dong. A yellow dong. A yellow dong that got sliced to bits.

J.C.G. presents this little ditty from some sort of fundraiser at Martinsville Speedway. They've just blasted past their goal, haven't they?

Mike S. "unearthed this fella's whopper from a 1991 PC version of Lemmings I found cleaning out the attic this weekend. It's a wonder he can even make it to the cliff with that thing weighing him down." Wish I knew what Lemmings was.

Both Bring Back Anthony Mason and Brooke L-S saw dong on their Advent calendar this week. Which must have been awesome for them both.

Marc saw this in a downtown Houston parking lot.

Back on Dec. 6, tipster Nick presented a dongtastic plate from Famous Dave's BBQ in Omaha, Neb. However, tipster Tony C. from Rochester, NY called shenanigans. He said he's been to Famous Dave's on many occasions and has never, ever been presented with the double-biscuit dynamic which made Nick's pic just work. So, he went back, made an order and presented a dongless-plate picture to set the record straight.

As such, if there are any other tipsters out there with Famous Dave's experience, please weigh in with your memories as they pertain to biscuit service. The question at hand: Does Famous Dave's get all stingy with the biscuits so as to avoid unintentional dongs, is Tony C. a jealous hater or is the truth somewhere in between?

Also, Merry Christmas and whatnot.