The National Football League has gone ahead and filled in what was really the only remaining question in global Tim Tebow coverage: Hypothetically, what would Tim Tebow's spawn look like were he to procreate with the weirdest array ever of female celebrities and public figures ever? Hypothetically.
Don't deny it—you've been wondering what an Oprah-Tebow lovechild would look like. The answer, thanks to the NFL's patronage of a site called "MorphThing.com," is that their baby girl would look like a very regular baby girl. They've also gone to the trouble of morphing Tebow's babies with Beyoncé, Kim Kardashian, Lady Gaga, Scarlett Johansson, and Selena Gomez, who is all of 19 years old and who is dating Justin Bieber, the hypothetical lovechild Tebow could have with Michele Bachmann.
Sometimes, when The Internet produces dopey, absurd items such as this gem, it's fun to imagine the planning meeting that led up to publication. Were the editors hungover, over-caffeinated, or merely tripping balls? How on earth does one look at a picture of Tim Tebow next to a picture of Michele Bachmann and say, without even Morphing a Thing at MorphThing.com, "If they had a baby, it would look just like that pop star kid, am I right?" The caption on this photo literally reads, "If Tim Tebow and Michele Bachmann got married, their child would look identical to Justin Bieber." Identical. That would be a feat.
NFL.com, please tell us where you get your drugs.