Today Nike released the Galaxy Foamposite One, the limited-edition ugliest version of the ugliest shoes in the 10,000-year history of human footwear. The rippled plastic sides of these shoes have a starry, deep-space screen-saver design printed on them, and the soles glow in the dark, for the sophisticated customer who never outgrew his toddler shoe lights. Or for the toddler who has $220 to spend and who could skip preschool for a week to camp out to wait for the shoe release.
And as usual, the oversized toddlers got restive. The mall-crime roundup so far:
• Orlando, Florida: Riot police broke up a stampede by shoe-hunters at Florida Mall last night, according to the Orlando Sentinel. Two were arrested for trespassing. Police also arrested a woman for fighting outside the mall's Foot Locker.
• Hyattsville, Maryland: One person was arrested after an angry crowd learned that the Mall at Prince George's would not be selling the shoes today.
• Baton Rouge, Louisiana: A man was arrested for "inciting a riot and disturbing the peace" after reportedly cutting in the Galaxy Foamposite waiting line.
• Tampa, Florida: University Mall called off the sale of the shoes "due to concern about the crowd and safety."
• Greenwood, Indiana: Police dispersed a crowd of shoppers at the Greenwood Park Mall, as the mall delayed the shoe sale from midnight until 8 a.m. According to WTHR TV news, police said that reports of stun-gun use were "an exaggeration."