This is a great article for a sweaty Saturday evening. It's short, sweet and absolutely absurd. Let's start with the headline:
Big upset at cherry-pit spitting contest in Mich.
Ronn Matt's wife encouraged him to enter the annual International Cherry Pit Spitting Championship in southwestern Michigan on Saturday.
It's a good thing she did.
The 46-year-old Chicagoan pulled a big upset, winning the contest in his initial try and becoming the first champion not named Krause or Lessard in 20 years.
Behind every champion cherry spitter man, is an even more cherry spitterer woman.
Owner Herb Teichman launched the tournament on a lark nearly four decades ago. It now attracts competitors from the U.S. and beyond, and has six divisions, including dignitaries.
Ah yes, but were there muckamucks? Honchos? Poobahs?
Since 1992, members of the Krause and Lessard families have dominated the event.
Brian "Young Gun" Krause of Dimondale holds the world-record spit - more than 93 feet - and had won the past two years. But the 34-year-old finished fifth Saturday with a spit of 52 feet, 10 inches.
Krause's father, Rick "Pellet Gun" Krause, came in second with a spit of 61 feet, 2 inches. And Brian Krause's brother, Matt, earned a third-place finish with his 60-foot, 11-inch spit.
This is my favorite. Pellet Gun. What a name. A guy named Pellet Gun walks up to the Cherry-pit spitting competition dais and you pay attention. That's just the way it goes. But what about Matt? No nickname? Maybe he's the middle child.
The tournament typically is timed to the start of the cherry harvest, but competition spokeswoman Lynne Sage said that due to an unusually warm spring, it's already complete. Saturday's installment was held in sweltering temperatures.
FYI: The cherry-pit spitting competition has a spokeswoman.
Big upset at cherry-pit spitting contest in Mich.[Sacramento Bee/AP]