The Knicks don't look like they'll be a legitimate contender for the Larry O'Brien Trophy this season. They're old as dirt and just generally depressing. Right now, the most entertaining aspect of the team is anything Rasheed Wallace does. Don't look at the roster. Aw, you looked at it, didn't you? Stop crying. Please.

To raise the spirits of season-ticket-holding Knicks fans, someone thought it would be a good idea to hold a free Knicks' Tip-Off Event, which would ideally generate some optimism and excitement for the upcoming season.

John Schmeelk, a writer for (who owns season tickets), was invited to this exclusive event, and ended up writing a brutal column at CBS New York on every excruciating part of it.

Some of the best excerpts:

They welcomed in Swizz Beatz, who performed for a little under 20 minutes. To Swizz's credit he made the first mention of a current Knicks player, Carmelo Anthony, in a post-performance interview at about 8:20. It took 50 minutes, 50, for a current Knicks player to be mentioned at their own tip-off event.

Once everyone was in their seats, [Tina] Cervasio reappeared and introduced the person that would help her question the Knicks on stage. I quote: "Once a Knick, always a Knick: Baron Davis!"

[Davis] played 29 games last year on one leg, and did virtually nothing to help the Knicks win games. This is a franchise that can't give Patrick Ewing an assistant coaching job and is in a feud with Charles Oakley. Yet, somehow, Davis will always be a Knick.

Even being questioned by Cervasio and Baron Davis, it's possible that the Knicks players would saying something interesting. Unfortunately, more or less all of their wireless mics weren't working. The fans could barely hear a thing.

Cervasio asked the older players how they are able to play at their age. Rasheed Wallace answered it was because "they took care of their bodies." Nearly all the players on stage started laughing out loud...

As a finale, the rookies got together to sing, "I Believe I Can Fly." The fans booed poor Pablo Prigioni, a 35-year-old Argentinean legend, until he decided to join in.


And finally, we end with a Rasheed Wallace moment by Schmeelk that didn't make it into the column:

This Knicks season is going to be so fun.

Schmeelk: Knicks' Tip-Off Event A Total And Utter Disaster From Start To Finish [CBS New York]