When news broke this morning that Heisman winner Jameis Winston may have been busted for lifting some crab legs from a Tallahassee-area Publix supermarket, we felt a bit sad. There are way better things to shoplift from the store Where Shopping Is A Pleasureā„¢, after all. Here are ten of those things.

10. Publix fresh salsa (medium)
9. Publix bakery sourdough bread
8. Publix black & white sugar cookies
7. Publix ice cream cake
6. Publix GreenWise New York Strip steak
5. Publix chicken tenders sub
4. Publix mojo rotisserie chicken
3. Publix mango-key lime pie
2. Publix tres leches cake
1. Publix fried chicken