Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

It is a nice Saturday, I got up early and made myself some delicious banana oat pancakes, and the dogs are having fun in the backyard. So it seems like the perfect time to debut a take I have been noodling on: baseball rain delay hijinks are the best thing in sports.

Above we have two high school teams from Connecticut engaging in some jousting, as well as a fairly new innovation in rain delay hijinks, the mock Revolutionary War battle. In the past we’ve seen choreographed dances, human curling, fake commercials, dance contests, slip’n sliding, bullpen bocce, and more.


Baseball is unique among other sports in that it takes place outdoors, but isn’t played through downpours like football and soccer usually are. Combined with the fact that the baseball season—no matter the level—has a ton of games and road trips for players to get bored during and come up with random shit, and you product you get is rain delay hijinks. They’re funny, entertaining, creative, and lighthearted. So what’s next? Lip sync contests? Handstand competitions? Fake baseball games (how meta)? I don’t know, but I’m looking forward to finding out.

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