Bayern Munich had their backs against the wall. Down 3-1 to Porto after the first leg and short most of their best players due to injury, rather than folding under the pressure, Bayern kicked the shit out of their opponents 6-1, including a 5-0 lead at halftime. Here are all six goals, ranked by a top-secret proprietary formula that combines impressiveness and emotional devastation.

1.) Thomas Müller, 36th minute.

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2.) Xabi Alonso, 88th minute.

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3.) Thiago Alcântara, 14th minute.

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4.) Robert Lewandowski, 40th minute.

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5.) Robert Lewandowski, 27th minute.

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6.) Jérôme Boateng, 22nd minute.

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