Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re…

Today, we’re talking about drugs, buffets, shitty NFL stock music, and more.

Today, we’re talking about napkins, doctors, baseball, stadium food storage methods, and more.

Today, we’re talking about getting eaten by a whale, state names as first names, typos, Hitler, butter knives, and…

Today, we’re talking about un-Googleable band names, your groin, mustard-drenched testicles, and more.

Today, we’re talking about pickles, basketball hoop design, BIG WEDDING, and more.

Today, we’re talking about trailers, crossing state lines, Sean’s friend Bruce, drunken coaches, and more.

Today, we’re talking about why baseball has no left-handed shortstops, flossing, Worcestershire sauce, toenails for…

Today, we’re talking about doctors, the Mariners, capture the flag, being followed, and more.

Today, we’re talking about soccer snobs, voiceover acting, bad keys, eating wrappers, and more.

Today, we’re talking about ex-girlfriends, pens, secession, King Kong at the plate, and more.

Today, we’re talking about toilet flushing, fame, farts, Trump push-ups and more. 

Today, we’re talking about remakes, pelicans, the drug store, assholes by position, and more.

Today, we’re talking about coal, laundry, price points, cups, and more.

Today, we’re talking about pizza, paper, tolerating sporting events while sober, cream cheese, and more.

Today, we’re talking about moats, supercross, onions, Texas, and more.

Today, we’re talking about subtitles, dad shoes, sexy words, pot luck, stray penis hairs, and more.

Today, we’re talking about pizza, garbage, morning radio, college email addresses, and more.

Today, we’re talking about bathroom boogers, Law & Order, forgettable football teams, office beers, and more.

Today, we’re talking about airport eating, shower clogs, germophobes, and more.