Movie Talkers Are So Much Worse Than Movie Texters
The holidays are about consuming copious amounts of food and finding things to do with your family that allow you to be…
58 Future Jason Bateman Films
Today we read the following story of how the Jason Bateman vehicle Game Night came to pass.
New Yorker Film Critic Has Reservations About Children's Movie Because His Boner Kept Blocking The Screen
Have you seen Incredibles 2? If you liked 2004's The Incredibles, about a family of superheroes in a sort of…
Hereditary Will Completely Fuck Up Even The Most Seasoned Horror-Movie Watcher
My favorite genre of fiction, in books and stories and movies and probably even television shows, is horror. I love…
Bull Durham's Annie Savoy Is The Patron Saint Of Female Baseball Fans
I believe in the Church of Baseball. I was raised in it after all, taken to a stadium with plastic seats that got so…
Who Is The Most Adam Sandler Director?
Most friendships have a sort of intrinsic half-life. Each passing year tends to draw you further from the people you…
Deadpool Can Fuck Right Off
The worst trend in modern moviegoing is not the proliferation or quality of superhero movies—there is just the right…
Holy Shit, Avengers: Infinity War Actually [Redacted] [Redacted] [Redacted]
Hey, have you seen Avengers: Infinity War? No? Stop reading, get the hell out of this post, leave your work early, get…
You Should Be Buying DVDs Instead Of Relying On Netflix
When you’re a kid, it’s perfectly fine to partake in an array of bizarre or grotesque behaviors. Whether you’ve decided…
Varsity Blues Can't Decide How It Feels About The Cult Of High School Football
Varsity Blues works as long as you don’t think about it too hard. Which, I readily admit, probably means it works…
White Men Can't Jump Is A Lot Of Fun Masking What Appears To Be A Pretty Debilitating Gambling Addiction
If there’s a moral to be gleaned from White Men Can’t Jump, it’s that that if someone carrying many hundreds of dollars…
Lord Help Me, Avengers: Infinity War Is Almost Here And I Am Not Holding It Together, So Here Is Literally Every Thought I Have On It
We’re just over a week out from Avengers: Infinity War, and folks, I’m a wreck.
Kim Jong-il Liked Bend It Like Beckham And So Should You
With apologies to anyone who was hoping my earlier two reviews were the result of being an all-around miserable person…
This Was The Most Batshit Part Of Paterno
HBO’s Paterno, an excuse for Al Pacino to put on makeup and shuffle around in what were essentially pajamas, premiered …
The Sandlot Is Full Of Little Shitheads And Terrible Baseball Advice
Over the weekend, The Sandlot turned 25 years old. Major League Baseball is celebrating the anniversary of its release…
The Mighty Ducks Is A Mediocre Movie With An Utterly Unsympathetic Protagonist
I’m not nostalgic for your favorite sports film, because I probably never saw it the first time around (unless it’s A…
How Not To Write About Movies
Black Panther is the biggest hit of 2018 and stands poised to become one of the five highest grossing movies in the…
Annihilation Will Creep You All The Way Out
If you saw the trailer for Annihilation and got hyped to watch Natalie Portman spend the movie kicking ass with a…