The first round of the NFL draft ended up being kind of butt. There were no major trades, no truly shocking picks, and no players willing to step up and punch Roger Goodell in the dick. Our best chance at some excitement was always going to be Chip Kelly making a madman trade for a top pick, but even if he wasn’t able to pull one off, at least we get to enjoy watching him claim he never tried.

We spent all day yesterday hearing about the exorbitant price tag that the Titans slapped on their No. 2 pick, and that the Eagles and Browns had the best shot at prying it away from them. Into the evening, we started hearing that the Eagles had made the strongest push:

And Chip Kelly might have been after the No. 1 pick, too! This morning, Pro Football Talk reported that the Eagles offered a similar package to the Bucs for the top pick:

Per a source with knowledge of the situation, the Eagles offered the following to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for the first pick in the draft: the 20th pick in this year’s draft; Philly’s first-round pick in 2016; quarterback Sam Bradford; and another player on the roster.

It’s unclear who the other player would have been. Possibly linebacker Mychal Kendricks. Possibly Lane Johnson or Fletcher Cox, but the Eagles were expressing reluctance to include either of those pieces.

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This is all very funny! The Eagles just traded for Sam Bradford for reasons that weren’t clear to anyone at the time, and now it looks like the plan all along was just to roll him into a trade package designed to net Mariota or Jameis Winston. But that plan went to hell because the Bucs and Titans also desperately needed quarterbacks and the Eagles are now stuck with Bradford, which means they have to pretend like they didn’t spend all month trying to dump him, and that they actually want him to be their franchise quarterback. Naturally, Chip Kelly went running straight to Peter King to do some damage control:

The Eagles, as Kelly said Thursday night in Philadelphia, never offered players as part of a package to obtain Mariota. In fact, The MMQB learned Thursday night that Kelly never offered the widely rumored packages of either three first-round picks or two first-round picks and Sam Bradford, in an attempt to obtain the second pick of the draft. I can tell you this much is true: The Titans basically scared off suitors because they continually told teams they wanted to take Mariota, and it would take a stupid offer to obtain the pick. In the end, Tennessee GM Ruston Webster and coach Ken Whisenhunt stuck to their guns.

For sure, Chip. Whatever you say, man.

[PFT | MMQB]