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Welcome back to Dead Letters, the feature in which we reprint our favorite reader mail. We should take this moment to remind you that all emails to Deadspin and its editors and writers are on the record unless otherwise specified. Now for your letters.

Subject: You are terrible

From: Matthew B.

To: Lauren Theisen

O Lauren, you truely are just as bad as ESPN. Why does Tom Izzo owe you shit?The ESPN article was pure nonsense based on non-facts with questionable sources at best. So stop this poor me shit b/c Izzo didn’t want to answer your industry’s witch hunt questions. You people really do make me sick. And why does he have to tell you why Walton was allowed to stay on staff? He was processed through the judicial system. Morally wrong probably to let someone that was accused of hitting a woman to stay on staff but not illegal. Let’s not forget that Larry Nassar sexually assaulting all these women. You, as well as ESPN, are getting everyone to forget about this monster, instead drumming up stories from several years ago that have already been investigated. Let me be clear again, HE AND DANTONIO OWE YOU NOTHING. From all we know, he is cooperating with authorities and the NCAA. He doesn’t need to clarify with you hacks.

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Subject: (no subject)

From: Boyd M.

To: Lauren Theisen

Reporters like you continue to miss the point that in the United States of America verdicts are determined by the rule of law not by defamation and sensational journalism. The major problem with ESPN is they are attempting to pronounce Michigan State University guilty of promoting violence against women, by their slanted picking of what facts they want to report and what ones they want to keep out so that they can connect the dots they want to connect and create the story that is juicy and controversial and that stuff isn’t gonna fly.

Just let the full truth come out.

Subject: Izzo Dantonio Article

From: donmcmahon2

To: Lauren Theisen

Arrested, tried, convicted, and hung - your fabrications are like those of a paranoid schizophrenic.

Neither Izzo nor Dantonio are policemen. prosecutors, judges or hangmen.

Subject: How about reporting on the good these coaches have done ? These are men who have done almost everything the right way !! I’m tired of the media trying to destroy two very good men I remember when the Adrian Payne thing happened if he didn’t get charged by the police then why would he be punished all women have to do now is accuse someone of something and they’re automatically guilty well if the police couldn’t charge them then who are we to just assume it actually happened if there’s a rape people go to jail dumbass !! Adrian Payne or Travis Walton have never been charged with raping anyone!!!!!! Walton so called assault was reduced to littering in public so izzo is supposed to fire him for that ? Come on now

From: Chemi R.

To: Lauren Theisen

[No text.]

Subject: U r a sick man u have every right to say how u feel about anything whether I or anyone else agrees with u but to put that comment about Nick foles anatomy is a true defination of a sick person u should be ashamed of ur self

From: Susan N.

To: Dennis Young

[No text.]

Subject: (no subject)

From: Diane U.

To: Dennis Young

You’re an idiot writer!!

Sent from my iPhone

Subject: What stupid

From: Dick Manley

To: Samer Kalaf

What a stupid posting..... do you guy have anything except gutter minds. If u had kids, wives, parents, church affiliation, families....would you want them to read such immature stuff. This article shows you have less than immature 11 year old minds. Go back to school and become a Christian.

Sent from my iPad

Subject: Nick Foles Dong Article

From: bjassani

To: Samer Kalaf

This is the stupidest article i have ever read. Shame on you for publishing something so derogatory and trashy. Are you kidding me? You should be fired,

Like now

Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone

Subject: QB for Philly

From: John M.

To: Samer Kalaf

What a rotten..low life..discusting..vile person..

I am sure his family..friends and supporters are happy you revealed such a perverted.. Message..

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Subject: Article on Nick Foles

From: Sam Caruso NRB <santocaruso1@gmail.com>

To: Samer Kalaf

Read your filthy article about our great quarterback..your an asshole..and should be fucking castrated like a horse

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Subject: Are you serious with that insane article touting the size of Nick Foles’ penis. What an egregious example.of amateurish reporting. You should be fired and sent back to whatever muslim dung heap you or your parents came from.

From: tgreer900@gmail.com

To: Samer Kalaf

[No text.]

Sent from my Sprint Phone.

Subject: Foles article

From: David H.

To: Samer Kalaf

Very classless article. You should be ashamed to print it and those who allowed it. You obviously don’t get it. The guy proclaims Jesus as Lord and unashamably shares his faith. What do you believe? I’m sorry I have scanned your article. I assure it will be my last. You’re better than that. I suggest you rethink your position on others.

David H.

Sent from Verizon, Samsung GalaxyS8

Computer Troubleshooters Message Security: Check Authenticity

Subject: (no subject)

From: Lynn B.

To: Samer Kalaf

Nick Foles MVP stands for Most Valuable Player and Most Valuable Penis!

Subject: Francis

From: weaver2001@gmail.com

To: Samer Kalaf

Hey Loser Kalaf,

hahahaha you fucking worthless baby dick troll. You go you fucking insignificant deadbeat.

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Subject: (no subject)

From: Chris Ryan <cryan1099@gmail.com>

To: Laura Wagner

Attacking Barstool might have been one of the most idiotic thing you could do. You wish you can work for a company like Barstool. I seriously don’t know why your story is even that big of a deal, because lions don’t loose sleep over the opinions of sheep.

Viva La Stool

[Four minutes later, again from Chris]

Attacking Barstool might be one of the most idiotic things anyone could ever do. You wish you worked for a company like Barstool. I seriously don’t know why your story is such a big deal right now, because lions don’t loose sleep over the opinions of sheep.

Viva La Stool

Subject: John Moore

From: Stern Fermin Young <sternferminyoung@gmail.com>

To: Laura Wagner

Funny how you couldn’t dispute any of his points. Why don’t you identity politics Liberals cry out for more diversity in the NBA? Aren’t the owners racist against white purple green yellow and orange people since they hire 81% black guys? Should a guy with a penis and wig be allowed to compete against females?

Sent from my iPad

Subject: Dead Letters

From: <diamondhoggers@gmail.com>

To: Dom Cosentino

Hi Dom,

I was just reading some old Dead Letters, kind of fun.

https://deadspin.com/dead-letters-some-jackwagon-who-hates-colin-kaepernick-1795581113

This one in particular.

The part that made me grin/chuckle to myself was this:

From: Scot House

To: Dom Cosentino

Date: Thu, May 18, 2017 at 11:15 PM

Subject: Kaepernick

Give Hillary my best. Let her know that the Feds are closing in on the killer of Seth Rich and that the DNC has some explaining to do. Clinton Cartel death total = 106

It’s almost like you guys act like everything Hillary did was fairy tale to the point it won’t even be discussed. You mailed in your useless votes for her; and uh, it just didn’t matter all that she did. You put your hands over your ears and hummed and just cast the votes for her and anything that the trail of smoke leads to well; that’s not worth talking about! Let’s just ignore it, right? I find this hilarious, and the guy got you pretty good here actually. Maybe I should just come out and ask, all the Hillary was accused of doing, all the murders, Benghazi, the Foundation, the bullying Bill’s rape victims... that was just make believe to you wasn’t it?

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Subject: J Farrar

From: Michael Clifford <mclifford336@gmail.com>

To: Barry Petchesky

I just saw your Twitter response to Kirk’s query about J. Farrar. It amazes me that you so clearly reject critical thinking in order to support the Intersectionalist polispeech (sic) and still call yourself an objective intellectual. Thoreau not Marcuse you moron, these are the ideas of Americana you deride so easily.

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Subject: Comment

From: Billy Claggett <bclaggett2012@gmail.com>

To: Barry Petchesky

You are a worthless big mouthed libtard piece of shit and I hope somebody smashes all your fucking Obama Hillary ass sucking teeth down your fucking throat and you choke to death on them you unamerican motherfucker

Go fuck your mother again you inbread asshole piece of shit

So how does your dads dick taste you incest loving Nancy Pelosi panty sniffing motherfucker

You’ll get your one day and I hope its on film

Subject: CUCK

From: fuhk You <barry.cuck@gmail.com>

To: Barry Petchesky

You are a cuck

Subject: Hey!

From: Willie Obeid <new.york_fan@yahoo.com>

To: Barry Petchesky

You’re a a fucking joke.

A voicemail from (317) 450-5980:

Read more!

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