Dead LettersWelcome to Dead Letters, the feature in which we reprint our favorite reader mail. We should take this moment to remind you that all emails to Deadspin and its editors and writers are on the record unless otherwise specified. Now for your letters.  

Subject: Who is a racist???

From: M

To: Lauren Theisen

You are very angry and very racist. Here is part of your very brilliant and educated article.

Donald Trump, took a break from caring about a black person tonight

It’s people like you who make this country rise up and vote for Trump. Angry American hating liberal. That’s all you are. You disgust me

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Subject: (no subject)

From: “Balto”

To: Lauren Theisen

To all stupid libs. GET A BIG PACIFIER STICK IN YOUR ASS HIDE IN YOUR SAVE SPACE And Suck on it for the next 7 years. MELTING snow flakes M************

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Subject: No,lauren

From: Brandon M.

To: Lauren Theisen

No, Not everyone hates donald trump , the sad truth is they hate the “lefty nuts” worse..... obviously you may need google ,who is the potus.

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Subject: W r o n g

From: “Sej”

To: Lauren Theisen

You may hate Donald but don’t speak for other than yourself. You are an embarrassment and very illiterate.

My first and last visit to this site.

Such egotistical and self absorbed comment that everyone hates trump is

Childish and immature.

Grow up.

Subject: (no subject)

From: Ned M.

To: Lauren Theisen

What a shotty, cynical, uninformed, pompous, self-absorbed, miserable person you surely must be to make your disturbed & diseased points of view. Wow....crawl back under the mess on the floor that you made. Do society a favor please?

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Subject: What a load of shit

From: Lane B.

To: Lauren Theisen

The president is lobbying for his country, what a fucking shame. You are a fucking libtard, just one more liberal hack spinning trump hate.

He is getting the fucking job done despite media like you fucking bashing him at rvery turn. Father of barron trump, bringing his son into your price of shit article. You are a cunt.

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Subject: I only like Trump because people like you dont!

From: Nick

To: Lauren Theisen

“Everyone hates Donald Trump” Do you mean everyone who didnt vote for him? Because im pretty sure he got more votes..... I.E. is the President ... So “EVERYONE” must hate Clinton more? She did get far fewer votes? She doesnt even hold a Govt. Position. Lol you sound like a bitter looser. Your Quotes discredit your High school S.A. With Child like emotions. To report on a issue you should use FACTS! Leave out your own opinion. If you have any kind of REAL information the reader could make a opinion of their own! Or the conclusion you let those Obama years get to your head! Antifa proved to AMERICA why we voted for Trump and why he is YOUR PRESIDENT! You sound just like them. Bitter complaints. Complain about North and South Korean PEACE after 60 yrs!

Like I said “I only support Trump because you people dont” I never cared until I wanted to make sure not to be a liberal! You peoples actions have turned so many U.S. citizens to vote Republican. This child like report is just another conformation we made a good choice!

YOU ARE FAKE NEWS!

TRUMP = WINNING!

Subject: Article on Barron Trump and soccer

From: Michael

To: Lauren Theisen

FYI Miss The-is-en —- I won’t fill in the blanks for you....as a journalist you suk. That was a cheap shot taken at the President when the article was supposed to be about Barron, right. Your left-wing curve ball noted but you don’t speak for everyone, remember that next time. Not “everybody hates Trump”. Not everyone is haters as the left.

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Subject: RE Barron Trump

From: D.J. Perez

To: Lauren Theisen

Leave the kid alone you scum. Did you write disparaging articles about the monkeys daughters?

Sent from my iPhone

Subject: (no subject)

From: Steven Groethe <dungeonsdragons68@gmail.com>

To: Lauren Theisen

Go FUCK YOURSELF you ignorant, lefty cunt. I bet your pussy smells like rancid yak butter and is in constant competition with your waxy armpits and beach breath to purge the stomach contents of everyone within a Texas acre of your putrid “test of love” for your troglodytic tranny “wife’s” bifurcated tongue. The next time you schedule a shower remember to place a “stick-it” near your unused bar of soap with a reminder to “wash my rancid asshole”. Did your father put finger inside of you when he was bathing you as a child? I bet he slipped in two fingers.

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Subject: Barron Trump

From: Tim

To: Lauren Theisen

What the fuck is wrong with you liberals. I believe it, you are all mentally sick. Yes Trump won the election and your team of hysterical hypocrites cant let it go ! Dont you think it’s time to get over it. Get a life will you.

Sent via the Samsung Galaxy S8, an AT&T 4G LTE smartphone

Subject: Jerk !

From: Aaron H.

To: Lauren Theisen

Lauren ,

You are so condescending. Your article is the Dumbest thing ive ever read , Its like You have the Mentality of a little Kid . So You dislike Donald Trump so You go and Bash a twelve year old Boy . You should be ashamed of Yourself. I bet You grew Up in a big Mansion and have no clue whats going on in This life . You make fun of Barron Trump , but You are Barron Trump .

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Subject: (no subject)

From: Evan E.

To: Lauren Theisen

This article was on my smart phone when I first turned it on today. Why? It’s sophomoric humor is stupid and not funny. We’re you trying to be funny?

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Subject: (no subject)

From: Chris O.

To: Lauren Theisen

In regards to Barron Trump’s Father, he is the Elected President of the United States.

His title is Mr. President, but Mr. Trump will suffice just fine

Subject: Nice

From: Donald K.

To: Lauren Theisen

You pass the test

Hater

Deseminate nonsense disguised as news

Failure to see past this minute

(Lack of uderstanding of consequences)

You are on your way to being a full blown liberal and could probably qualify for a job as a Fresno Junior College civil rights professor under cover of intolerance for anyone who disagrees with your (insane) point of vuew

Sent via the Samsung Galaxy S® 5 mini, an AT&T 4G LTE smartphone

Subject: (no subject)

From: Brian

To: Lauren Theisen

Suck it Larry you liberal loser!

Sent from my Galaxy Tab® A

Subject: Your article about Soccor and President Trump

From: “J Cat”

To: Lauren Theisen

I have a couple of questions- what did you mean by, “taking a break from a black person?” Also, what difference does it make if Baron scores a goal? Does he play offense? Your article raised more questions to me than answers. What were you trying to convey? Are you saying President Trump is trying to bring the United States into the World Cup arena? So, I’m really confused by your story. The only aspect of your story that I understood was that you dislike the President. Which unfortunately, if he fails, the United States fails. Personally, I love our country more than I hate.

My opinion doesn’t matter, I was just confused by your story, and I admire you for getting your story out. Are you saying that US is petitioning to join the World Cup Arena? I’ve often thought since our kids play soccor, that makes sense. I wonder what the NFL has to say, don’t you? That might be direct competition for sports dollars...interesting...your story is intriguing. “You attract more bees with honey rather than vinegar.” Stay clear of hatred, it can cloud you. Good luck with your career.

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Subject: (no subject)

From: Rick M.

To: Lauren Theisen

You’re a true witch

Subject: World Cup Comments

From: Adrian R.

To: Lauren Theisen

Ms. Theisen,

I was livid after reading your article about the World Cup for 2026. To say “everyone hates Donald Trump.”

is an absolute lie. It’s also disrespectful, mean, inappropriate,

intentionally divisive and the list goes on.

HATE is a terrible thing that blackens our world. You have much learning and growing up to accomplish. I hope you’re smart enough to realise

your needs.

Subject: Omg

From: Mary

To: Lauren Theisen

This is, by far, the worst writing ever. I had to read the first paragraph 4 times to figure out what you were trying to convey.

For those of us who don’t know what Arsenal is, a few words would have helped.

I assume Barron Trump likes this team.

And just for the record saying that everyone hates Donal Trump is clearly not journalistic and makes you seem like a biased pussy.

Clean up your act.

Subject: YOU

From: Tony M.

To: Nick Martin

Dick Martin your report on Silent Sam.. Little boy listen up..Statues in N.C. we’re here before your deadspin parents were born.. Next article answer why 90% of prisoners are black.. Follow it up with people that bring down MLK statues.. Hush amongst the crowd. Grow a fucking backbone but I am sure the bone you desire is just a little bit lower than the back.. Lil punkass.

CITY STRONG boy.

Subject: (no subject)

From: Wendy G.

To: Nick Martin

Your a ass you don’t have the knowledge to talk about the monuments most was done out of pride

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Subject: Silent Sam satute

From: Larry H

To: Nick Martin

Hey Nick,

You and a lot of people need to research better before you write an article about the Confederacy. Because 1. There was free black men who owned slaves before and during the Civil war. 2. Yes there were black slaves near the end of the Civil War but they were offed 40 acres and a mule to fight for the Confederacy. 3. There were also free Mexicans that fought for the Confederacy. 4. There were American Indiansthat fought for the Confederacy. 5. There slaves that were owned by people in the north before during and a few years after. And you do some research and find these facts if you would. But I guess that you’re ashamed of your own skin color. I am a proud white man who is very proud of my skin color and the fact that my great great grandad on my dad’s side served in the Texas Confederacy and in the Confederacy. Quit trying to stir up a race war !!!!

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Subject: writers and celebs

From: M. Pinkerton

To: Patrick Redford

TO PAT, A WRITER WITH A POTTY PEN…

TO SHAQ, A CELEB ANALYST WHO MADE A CAREER OVER CRUSHING OPPOSITION BY, WELL, CRUSHING OPPOSITION. AND HIS CURRENT JOB ALLOWS HIM THE VENUE FOR CONTINUATION OF A CAREER WITH LITTLE IF ANY FINESSE. WHY HE PICKED MAC IS A MYSTERY ALTHOUGH IT IS RUMORED THE WARRIOR CENTER IS HIGHLY INTELLIGENT. THAT HAS PROVEN TO INCITE THE TESTOSTERONE OF BULLY TYPES.

TO THE WARRIOR CENTER, FROM A TV FAN PERSPECTIVE IT WOULD APPEAR YOU HAVE SKILLS. IT ALSO BECOMES EVIDENT YOU MAY, ONCE AGAIN, BE HANGIN’ AROUND WITH A PRETTY ELITE GROUP THAT MIGHT BE, BARRING SOME UNFORTUNATE INJURY OR TWO, DANCING IN THE STREETS OF THE BAY AREA WITH MANY RABID AND ECSTATIC FANS. WHY LET A BULLY SPOIL THE MOMENT?

TO THE REFS, AS SO MANIFEST IN SPORTS, ESPECIALLY TOXIC AT THE PLATE OF MLB, IS VISION IMPAIRMENT A HIRING CONSIDERATION? NOT TO RUB SALT IN A FESTERING WOUND, BUT MLB FANS ARE STILL BEING ROBBED OF A QUALITY ENTERTAINMENT WHEN TODAYS TECH COULD CLEAR UP THAT GROSS BLEMISH AND ALLOW PITCHERS AND HITTERS TO PLAY TO THEIR SKILLS LEVELS WITHOUT A 37 PERCENT DEFECTIVE CHANGING EXCEPTIONAL SKILLS INTO FLAILING FAILURE BY DEEMING BALLS STRIKES AND STRIKES BALLS AND BY DOING IMPACTING THE PLAY AND OFTEN THE OUTCOME OF A VERY HIGH REVENUE SPORT. AS THEY SAY, ‘BOO’.

TO THE OWNERS AND PLAYERS AND INEPT, PERHAPS COWARDLY MLB CORPORATE DICTATORS, HOW, IN GOOD CONSCIENCE, CAN YOU CONTINUE TO DELIVER SUCH A FINE REPAST SPOILED BY A NASTY COCKROACH ON THE PLATE???

TO THE READERS, EVER THINK OF A ONE DAY BOYCOTT TO EXPRESS THE NOTION THAT YOU’RE SICK AND TIRED OF THE ‘TO ERR IS HUMAN’ FACTOR MAINTAINED LIKE A TOLERATED SACRED COW WHEN TECH ACCURACY BUMPS CLOSE TO 100 PERCENT, WHILE THE SACRED COW POOPS WHEREVER AT NO BETTER THAN 63 PERCENT AND LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND CHILDREN EVERYWHERE, PITCH ZONE TECH IS TRIED, PROVEN AND ONLY REQUIRES OFFICIAL INTEGRATION INTO AMERICAS FAVORITE PASTIME. THERE’S STILL PLENTY TO JUSTIFY THE PLATE UMPIRE AND BILLIONS WORTH OF EVIDENCE TO TAKE THE CALLS AND DETERMINATION OF BALLS AND STRIKES OUT OF THE ERROR PRONE VENUE OF THE ‘CROSS EYED MARYS’ DRESSED, QUITE APPROPRIATELY IN SOMBER BLACK.

SO BEST OF LUCK TO ONE AND ALL AND KEEP LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT GLORIOUS DAY WHEN BALLS ARE BALLS AND STRIKES ARE STRIKES.

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Subject: What The Hell Is John Sterling’s Home Run Call For Giancarlo Stanton?

From: Elisabeth M.

To: Emma Baccellieri

What the HECK are you doing writing this caption about John Sterling ?? Low class and unprofessional when the respectful and elite journalists with class and integrit AND FANS LOVE !!! John Sterling He stands TEN feet taller then you as a professional and a human being. Not one other journalist had this cheap headline for this wonderful man!

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Subject: Gronk

From: Heather M.

To: Samer Kalaf

Elevate your writing. Ending your article with ‘flapping boners’ makes you look like an out of touch idiot. Offensive and base.

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Subject: Enemies of nature, ranked

From: VJ Smith

To: Albert Burneko

I gave your work a second chance tonight. Nope, it still was one of the most infuriatingly pretentious pieces of shit I’ve ever read. Find something else to do, you can’t write

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Subject: Please Find Something Better To Do

From: Brian

To: Albert Burneko

Your piece on Sarah Huckabee Sanders clearly demonstrates the difference between an actual journalist and the modern day opinion blogger (those who wanted to be journalist but couldn’t). Rather than deliver any relevant information or news, you choose instead to throw more insults and hope likeminded people will find it funny. An attempted joke that only creates a giggle in your small, isolated, echo-chamber of a world. I’m having a hard time thinking of a bigger waste of time or less meaningful occupation. Professional gamer, maybe? Someday you’ll have to decide if spreading trash and offering a meaningless opinion on matters you know nothing about actually contributes anything to society or just serves as a way for the small-minded to entertain themselves.

Please grow up. Find an occupation.

Subject: Maybe you just need a hug...

From: Julie B

To: Albert Burneko

Hi there,

It seems you’re a particularly angry person. And I feel badly for you, young man.

I hope one day you meet someone that truly matters to you and can allow kindness to reach your consciousness.

Perhaps then, you can understand life’s priorities are far more expansive than your finger’s racing proclivity to type vitriol.

From: Albert Burneko

To: Julie B

Julie, with all due respect, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Keep this treacly nonsense out of my inbox. I shared it with my spouse of 10 years and it grossed her out worse than the death threats.

Take care.

From: Julie B

To: Albert Burneko

I do appreciate you adding a new word to my vocabulary (treacly is a great adjective, excellent imagery) ... and for proving my point that you could use some broader life perspective.

I mean you no harm, no ill; so viewing my simple observation as something worse than, or in anyway, a kin to death threats is asinine.

I simply hope your desire to create a name for yourself in today’s viciously glib media culture doesn’t entirely swallow your basic decency.

That’s all. Best of luck to you and your spouse.

Subject: Nice comedy piece

From: Ryan

To: Albert Burneko

The idea of a free press is laughable. If you are saying that it is ok to continue to write about falsehoods and the liberal media double standards then you need to go back to journalism school. Your article reads more like fiction. Why is it ok to let joy read to continue to lie about her not being homophobic. And to let tom browkaw off the hook? I would like an answer to that. To call them motherfuckers only shows that you are one as well.

Enjoy.

Subject: (no subject)

From: Warren

To: Albert Burneko

You’re a dumbfuck!

Subject: Fuck yourself

From: John B.

To: Albert Burneko

I’m not even gonna take time to write a formal email, because you don’t deserve one. You’re a huge pussy for hating on D rose. That article you wrote trashing him in the playoffs is stupid as fuck. If I catch you talking shit about D Rose, I’m gonna beat your ass.

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Subject: Sorry

From: John B.

To: Albert Burneko

Please disregard that last email, it was sent by a friend using my account. He was just mad and did not mean any of that.

Sent from my iPhone