Derek Jeter had a self-described "terrible" off-season as he rehabbed a broken ankle this winter. He revealed that and so much more when he spoke to reporters this morning.

Recovering from his broken left ankle, Derek Jeter spent the winter cruising around his 30,000-square foot mansion on a motor scooter.

The captain known for being photographed by the paparazzi in exotic locations with his famous girlfriends in the offseason was confined to his home and had to learn to walk again.

So now it falls to you, dear readers. We need to somehow visualize Derek Jeter riding around a Rascal in his "30,000 square foot mansion." It really doesn't even need to be his mansion. Any old 30,000 square foot mansion will do.

Please someone make this happen. I will choose the best and complete the headline with a declarative statement.