You won't believe this. LeBron James, a human being, suffered a cramp and had to leave Game 1 of the Finals. He clearly can't win when his team needs him, or something. Stupid involuntary muscle spasms.

The Spurs were up by two with four minutes remaining, but when James left, they broke open a commanding lead, finishing off a 36-point fourth quarter to take the first game of the Finals. But the main talking point was James on the bench, unable to do anything but watch. And man, people had some hot fuckin' takes about it:

Even Jonathan Martin took a shot at LeBron. Good take, Jonathan.

Cramps are usually caused by fatigue or exhaustion, and a study has shown that dehydration does not cause cramps, but sure, LeBron didn't drink enough Gatorade. Michael Jordan would have taken Gatorade through an IV if it meant he could get back in the game. Rich Peverley was once stranded in a desert for two weeks with no food or water, found his way home, and notched two assists in a game the next day.

Let's play Game 2 tomorrow so we don't have to hear about LeBron's inability to get over an involuntary cramp for three more days.