Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Could Football Just Shut The Hell Up For Like Two Seconds?

Tonight on the NFL Network, the 2015 NFL schedule will be revealed during a two-hour—two goddamn hour—NFL Schedule Release Extravaganza. The fact that a completely uninteresting announcement that boils down to “Here is when the teams you already knew were playing each other are going to play each other!” is being strung out for two hours is absurd. What’s even more absurd, though, is that the NFL media has begun “leaking” matchups ahead of tonight’s broadcast.

Look at this madness:


All of is this is just a symptom of football’s complete inability to ever fall out of the news cycle. It comes from the same impulse that leads to weeks and weeks worth of draft coverage getting pulled out of the media’s collective ass every year and SportsCenter still finding a way to dedicate entire segments to Tim Tebow. Pretty soon, we’re going to have NFL writers tweeting stuff like “Breaking: The Minnesota Vikings will play most of their games on Sunday,” and “Report: the 49ers will play eight home games and eight away games.”


It’s okay to just chill every now and then, football. We’d like to miss you; you just won’t go away.

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