Anti-trust laws! If this ever goes down, discovery will be like 100 Christmases at the same time, all falling on your birthday.

Yesterday's reported sale of the Clippers to Steve Ballmer for $2 billion didn't feel like anything final. It happened in haltingly bizarre fashion, with claims that the deal was done alternating with Donald Sterling's denials. It was revealed that Shelly Sterling had her husband declared mentally incapacitated due to Alzheimer's, leaving her—she claimed—the sole owner of the team. Donald Sterling's lawyers dispute this. They dispute everything. Burn it all down.